Have you ever been bullied? Or seen someone else being bullied? It may come as no surprise that most people would answer yes to either or both questions. As for doing something to stop bullying, only a few of us may feel we have the courage to act.
Amongst those few were two twelfth-grade students from Berwick, Nova Scotia. In 2007, Travis Price and David Shepherd saw a fellow student being bullied. The victim was a male ninth grader. His name was Chuck McNeill. The reason Chuck had become the hapless victim of bullying by his schoolmates? He had chosen to wear a pink shirt on the first day of school.
Travis and David headed to a discount store and bought 50 pink shirts. The next day, they handed out those pink shirts to all their male schoolmates (whom they had texted the night before). Together with their friends, Travis and David staged a pink protest against bullying.
That small gesture snowballed into declarations and affirmative action against bullying. Rodney MacDonald who was once the Premier of Nova Scotia declared a ‘Stand Up Against Bullying Day’ on the second Thursday of September. In 2008, Gordon Campbell, who was the Premier of British Columbia at the time announced that February 27th would be observed as the regional Anti-Bullying Day.
Those pink shirts even led to awareness campaigns and public demonstrations against bullying. For example, in 2009, Boys and Girls Clubs across the country opted to wear pink t-shirts that read Bullying Stops Here for Anti-Bullying Day.
That small pink shirt rally has led us to observe Pink Shirt Day or Anti-Bullying Day in Canada on the last Wednesday of February. Thousands of Canadians wear pink shirts to work and school to signal they are against bullying.
What’s more, countries all over the world were inspired by Travis and David’s actions and organize anti-bullying events and fundraisers. These countries include New Zealand (that celebrates Anti-Bullying Day in May), Japan, Panama, China and more. Today, Pink Shirt Day is not just a global phenomenon in the real world, but in the virtual one too. People from almost 180 countries support Pink Shirt Day by posting in support on social media or even going so far as to donate to the cause. It has truly become a worldwide event!
Let’s understand bullying a little better.
Bullying is quite common. While it is observed to be rampant especially amongst children and teenagers, it is also seen amongst adults. Bullying is not restricted to playgrounds, elementary schools, and high schools. Bullying may take place in homes and even workplaces by bosses, colleagues, spouses, or friends. And with the internet, both kids and adults alike may face cyber-bullying at the hands of people they know or strangers from anywhere in the world!
As you can see, bullying is something that almost everyone has faced or may face. Before we go any further, let’s try to understand just what bullying entails, by examining a few definitions.
According to a paper in the American Psychological Association, “bullying is aggressive goal-directed behaviour that harms another individual within the context of a power imbalance”. The Canadian Government defines bullying in the context of children as “wilful, repeated aggressive behaviour with negative intent used by a child to maintain power over another child." Another organization aimed at providing support for victims of bullying and working towards stopping bullying, defines bullying as, “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behaviour among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” Yet another organization that works towards preventing bullying in the first place adds a different dimension to the definition of bullying by saying that, “Bullying is a repeated aggressive behaviour where one person (or group of people) in a position of power deliberately intimidates, abuses, or coerces an individual with the intention to hurt that person physically or emotionally. Acts of bullying can be physical or verbal.
From all these definitions bullying has certain key characteristics:
Bullying involves a power imbalance
At its root, bullying stems from wanting to have power over another person. This power could be in terms of actual physical strength which leads to physical bullying. It may also be that the bully has come to know of some embarrassing information that gives them leverage over their victims. Sometimes, bullies just happen to be more popular or have social clout that allows them to get away with treating people who may be less popular in mean or harmful ways.
Bullying is often repeated behaviour
Bullying usually only stops if the behaviour is reported or the victim stands up to the bully. The age-old advice that most parents dish to their kids of ‘just ignoring it’ may also work, as the bully loses the satisfaction of getting a reaction from the victim. However, bullying tends to be repeated.
Bullying is intentional
To threaten someone, pick on them, make fun of them — or, in short, bully them, — one has to think about and take some action or say something hurtful or intimidating. Bullying just doesn’t happen ‘by accident’ and it is always intentional. It may be that the bully does not recognize their own behaviour as bullying, but if the intention is to scare, isolate, or embarrass someone else, then it is bullying.
Bullying is aggressive
One of the most defining characteristics of bullying is aggression. The bully will overstep personal boundaries, be loud, forceful, angry, etc. They are in full-on fight mode trying to push the buttons of their victims as much as possible.
Types of bullying
While all bullying has similar traits, not all bullying is equal. Bullying may be physical such as tripping someone, shoving them, toppling their things from surfaces, pulling their hair or clothes, grabbing the things they are holding, pinning them against a wall or to the floor or actual physical assault like hitting, punches, kicks, and slaps.
It could even be verbal such as calling them names, taunting them about their physical characteristics, intelligence, family, status, wealth, or certain embarrassing incidents, saying certain words that trigger the victim, etc.
Bullying could be social or relational as well, where no overtly aggressive interactions take place between the bully and the victim, but the victim is still made to feel intimidated, insecure, or isolated. This is usually done by leaving someone out of the group or making sure they are picked last for group activities, spreading rumours about the victim, asking others to shun them in social settings, or making private information about them known to the public.
The effects of bullying
Bullying can have serious consequences. It is linked to low self-esteem and mental health issues. These include depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies. In fact, the effects of bullying can be so adverse that in 2010, a study was conducted in the Yale School of Medicine about the effects of bullying. It found a very strong association between a person who is being bullied attempting to commit suicide. There was even a term coined for the phenomenon - bullycide. Bullycide describes a suicide committed by a person as a consequence of being bullied. While death is the most extreme consequence, others such as mental anguish and physical harm is something that most victims of bullying tend to suffer. This may further affect their performance at school, work and in society at large.
However bleak the thought of bullying may be, it is heart-warming to know that there is a way against it. Back in 2007, Travis Price and David Shepherd showed the world how to battle bullying by one kind gesture. According to the Globe & Mail, who interviewed Travis Price after the incident, he is quoted as saying, “I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders. Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid. It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. The bullies were never heard from again.”
We can all be a little like Travis Price and David Shepherd as we celebrate Pink Shirt Day every February. If you’re against bullying, choose to wear pink. You can organize events to raise funds against bullying or simply speak up about it on social media. And of course, whenever you see someone being bullied, speak up, stand up and pledge to ‘lift each other up’!